What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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