I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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