Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
