Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
