Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize