I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wish you could order shots online.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You are a genius and a whore.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
