Umm I'm too high to move.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
