please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
