After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
