if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
