Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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