jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
