i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
