How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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