Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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