Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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