Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I could make wine with my vomit
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
