Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
God I need to hump something, right now.
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