Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
