she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
