the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize