i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize