Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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