whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
