Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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