never play flip cup with pint glasses
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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