Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
