ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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