This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
