There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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