This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
