do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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