absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize