Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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