if i can run in heels then i can drive
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
