you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
