Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
