dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We are two peas in an std pod
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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