You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
