well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
