I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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