I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you would pick up someone in the library
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
