Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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