well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
