Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i think my cat just said my name.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
