idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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