We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
