I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just pee around me
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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