why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
