k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
