Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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