i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
