Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
don't judge my taste in strippers
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
