Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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