Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she told me i tasted like america
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
