You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize